


i dont want to be your friend, i want to kiss your lips

by omfgdany



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omfgdany/pseuds/omfgdany
Summary: Did Hinata realize? How much those words would affect Kageyama. A confirmed friend. Had Kageyama ever really had one of those before? Someone who said the words “we’re friends” genuinely?Something about it made his chest tighten. In a way that he didn’t quite understand. It’s not like when he’s anxious when he talks to people he doesn’t know very well. It’s also not really like when his grandfather passed away. It’s not bad. Kageyama thought that your chest tightening like this meant you felt bad, but he feels almost good. It’s a happy feeling that he doesn’t quite know how to express outwardly.Using Hinata’s logic...maybe that’s why his chest it tight. Is it because these odd feelings are just building up inside of him, and this tight feeling is him on the bring of it exploding out. Like when you shake a carbonated drink.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	i dont want to be your friend, i want to kiss your lips

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i hope you enjoy!
> 
> also yes, the title is a reference to a Girl In Red song titled 'i want to be your girlfriend'

Hinata is tiny? 

Kageyama stopped mid drink to stare at the tangerine-haired boy. There’s something different. Hinata has always been tiny, but he seems tiny-er? Kageyama quickly looked away when the other boy turned to him, continuing to drink from his water bottle. 

“Good practice!” Daichi smiled, vaguely distracted by Tanaka and Noya causing some kind of trouble. “You two,” He pointed at Kageyama and Hinata, “Don’t stay too late.” 

Permission to stay late though. Kageyama looked at Hinata again, he was smiling and reaching to touch Kageyama’s shoulder. When Hinata’s hand grabbed Kageyama’s shirt, he gently tugged. 

This was a habit of Hinata that started some time ago. Kageyama couldn’t pin-point when it started or why. It was back when they were going against more difficult opponents. Kageyama knew that much, Hinata would point out the strengths and weaknesses of others to Kageyama...but only to him, he would rarely tell anyone else. 

Kageyama leaned down so his ear was more level with Hinata’s face. “I wanna practice where I hit the ball to, we should set up water bottles.” He whispered it like it’s secret. 

It’s cute, he’s cute. 

I’m sorry what? Kageyama blinked at his own thoughts. “Okay,” He responded quietly, before standing straight up. He didn’t look away from Hinata for a second thought, watching as he approached everyone and asked them for their empty water bottles. 

Kageyama let the ball fall into his hands, just for him to grab it. Hinata frowned, stopping before he could jump in the air. “What is it?”

“How many times have I set to you today?”

Hinata seemed a little surprised by the question, staring up at Kageyama with wide, curious eyes. “I don’t know…”

Kageyama tossed the ball into the basket, “We should finish up. I doubt you want to get home when the sun’s coming up.” 

“One more!” 

Tell him no. 

“Fine.” 

The last attack was technically the quickest out of all the ones they did today, but like always, time slowed down only moments before Hinata’s hand connected with the ball. Kageyama saw it all happen. He watched Hinata’s brown eyes scan for which waterbottle to target, he watched his lips curl into a smile once he decided. Kageyama made a mistake though.

He blinked. When his eyes opened, it’s because of the sound the ball made when it hit the ground. The sound he’s heard a hundred times before. The sound he’s grown to associate with the small boy who landed next to him. 

“That was the best one yet!” Hinata turned to him with a smile, just for it to drop, “What are you thinking about?”

Kageyama blinked again, “Nothing, let’s clean up.”

The cool air of the dark outside felt so nice on his warm face. Kageyama waited patiently as Hinata rushed out of the clubhouse. “Ready?” He asked softly, looking at the small boy. 

Hinata smiled up at him and gave him two thumbs up. As they began to walk in the direction of Hinata’s bike, Kageyama let his mind wander. 

He’s being quiet. He’s probably tired. Had two tests today and practiced himself half-to-death. Hinata doesn’t grow silent often, but when he does, there’s something about it that can either feel off or comforting. 

Kageyama likes Hinata. Mutual respect and understanding for each other as friends and teammates. It doesn’t change their rivalry. This is something that frustrated Kageyama at first, he was worried that their rivalry would die with their relationship. If anything though, it made it stronger. They expect a lot from each other now because they know each other’s strengths and weaknesses inside and out. If they’re ever to play on the opposite sides of the court, it will a match that anyone would want to watch. 

Stopping to get their meat buns, Kageyama wondered if Hinata looks at their relationships the way that Kageyama does. 

“Hinata?”

Hinata hummed a response, biting into his meat bun with a smile. 

“Are we friends?”

Hinata looked up at Kageyama, wanting to know the expression on his face before answering. When he was that Kageyama was genuinely wondering Hinata smiled up at him. “Yeah, we’re friends.” 

Just a Friend

Did Hinata realize? How much those words would affect Kageyama. A confirmed friend. Had Kageyama ever really had one of those before? Someone who said the words “we’re friends” genuinely? 

Something about it made his chest tighten. In a way that he didn’t quite understand. It’s not like when he’s anxious when he talks to people he doesn’t know very well. It’s also not really like when his grandfather passed away. It’s not bad. Kageyama thought that your chest tightening like this meant you felt bad, but he feels almost good. It’s a happy feeling that he doesn’t quite know how to express outwardly. 

Using Hinata’s logic...maybe that’s why his chest it tight. Is it because these odd feelings are just building up inside of him, and this tight feeling is him on the bring of it exploding out. Like when you shake a carbonated drink. 

Hinata and Noya jumped around like maniacs, circling Kageyama as he drank from his water bottle and checked his phone. 

“That was so cool! You even tricked me!” Noya said to Kageyama. Their practice game with Nekoma had just ended, Karasuno and Nekoma had technically tied. They would attempt to break it but it’s too late at night now. 

“You’ve become an even better setter, Kageyama! I didn’t even think that was possible!” Hinata grabbed his shoulder, getting hit attention. 

“Thanks…” Kageyama responded quietly. Where Hinata’s hand had landed on Kageyama’s shoulder felt tingly, like his touch made Kageyama’s skin crawl? That makes it sound like a bag thing, it’s a weird, but good kind of tingle. Like when they numb your mouth at the dentist’s office. 

To his surprise, Hinata didn’t ask Kageyama to stay behind and practice. Instead the two of them went with the rest of the team to the clubhouse and changed out of their gym clothes. Kageyama noticed that Hinata didn’t seem as small as he was in the autumn, had he grown?

“How tall are you, Hinata?” Kageyama randomly asked as the team approached their coach’s store to get some meat buns. 

Hinata turned to Kageyama, looking at him with a glowing expression. He was obviously overjoyed that someone (especially Kageyama) noticed that he had grown, “Um...I’ve grown a little since we last did our physical. I might be 166 centimeters now!” 

“Doubt it.” Tsukishima snorted, making both Kageyama and Hinata glare at him. Tsukishima wasn’t too surprised that Hinata glared at him in response. But Kageyama? Normally he wouldn’t care too much if Tsukishima insulted Hinata. 

Hinata and Kageyama went off on their own. They don’t entirely live in the same direction as each other, or even near each other, but they walk to the same point with each other. A corner, where Kageyama turns right, and Hinata keeps walking forward. 

It’s grown cold, snow hangs in the air strangely...it’s not exactly falling to the ground, rather it’s just crowding the air around them. Taking in a deep breath, Kageyama looked over at Hinata. 

“You know Kageyama, you’re a good friend.”

The word alone made Kageyama’s chest tighten again. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re just nice...I know a lot of people think you’re up-tight and aloof, but you’re just socially awkward.” Kageyama blushed, Hinata sees right through him. Kageyama wanted to hate that about him, but he likes it. He likes it a lot. “You buy my meat bun after practice whenever I let you. You stand with me when I’m all alone.” 

“All alone?”

“I just noticed that whenever I’m by myself, you somehow always end up standing with me. Sometimes I don’t even notice that you’re around, and poof! You’re standing with me!” Hinata laughed. 

Socially awkward...that just about sums it all up. Kageyama hates standing by himself, and people have gotten to the point where they also expect the two of them to be together. Standing with Hinata makes Kageyama feel comfortable, not so...awkward. 

“I’m just...trying to be a good friend, I guess.” 

“You are a good friend, Kageyama.” 

A good friend...friend. Can a word be stuck in your head? Like a song? The word Friend repeated in Kageyama’s head like your favorite song might. It feels so right, to have a friend. A friend.

Just a friend?

Dumbass-Kageyama

“Friend” once felt so right, but now it feels...close but not quite right. Something is missing about it. Friend...Friend...Friend…

Girlfriend. He’s never had one, he wondered if Hinata had ever had one. He probably did in elementary school or something. Kageyama hadn’t ever had a real friend before now, let alone a girlfriend. 

His room is chilly, probably because it’s late out. Spring is at that weird place where it’s freezing cold at night and in the morning but burning hot in the day time. Kageyama got up to look for his favorite sweatshirt, but couldn’t find it. Had he accidentally left it in the clubhouse or something? 

Kageyama exited the gym, seeing that Hinata was sitting on the steps, waiting for him. They walked together quietly to the clubhouse, Kageyama looked around for his sweatshirt. It’s not exactly cold outside, but it would be soon. 

“Ready, Kageyama?” Hinata asked, standing at the door. 

“I can’t find my blue sweatshirt.” 

“Did you leave it in here?” Hinata approached him, glancing around the room. He knew exactly which sweatshirt Kageyama was talking about. He wears it often outside of school. 

“I thought so...maybe it’s just lost at home somewhere.” Before Hinata could respond, Kageyama grabbed his sweatshirt out of the lost and found. ‘

“Yay!” Hinata cheered as Kageyama stuffed the sweatshirt into his bag, wearing his school jacket already. 

They exited the clubhouse and began to walk their daily routine. As they walked, Kageyama noticed that Hinata was wearing just a t-shirt. His arms were obviously cold, based on all of his hairs standing up as an attempt to keep him warm. His pinks and hands were pink from the cold Spring air. 

“Do you not have a jacket? Dumbass-Hinata.” 

“It was warm this morning! I didn’t think it would get so cold!”

Kageyama stopped, digging his sweatshirt out of his bag and offering it to Hinata, who was watching his with curious eyes. 

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to not be sure?” Kageyama teased, raising his eyebrows and smirking playfully at Hinata, who quickly let Kageyama hold his bike. 

Hinata looked...so tiny. Kageyama’s sweatshirt hung over his frame like a blanket. His fingers barely poked out from the sleeves, grabbing the handlebars of his bike again. The two of them began to walk in silence again. 

“Thanks...meanie,” Hinata whispered after about five minutes of silence. 

Kageyama rolled his eyes, “I’m being nice, don’t you dare call me a meanie. Dumbass.”

“Then don’t call me a dumbass!” Hinata shouted before he was distracted. The air that had come out of his mouth was visible. “Wow...it is cold.” He opened his mouth and let the hot air in it into the outside air. 

The puff of white hung in front of his face for a moment before dissipating. Kageyama was staring intensely at Hinata’s mouth, at his lips. 

His lips are shaped nicely… he’s conventionally attractive, but his lips seem to stand out? Shaped perfectly for someone who smiles so often...they’re lips that are made for smiling. Is that weird? Are these thoughts weird?

Kageyama found himself angry at himself. He was trying to sleep and still found himself thinking about Hinata’s mouth. His lips. Blowing the puff of white air into the cold. 

Is he attracted to Hinata’s lips?

The more he thought about it, the more insane he felt. 

Slowly, Kageyama’s attraction grew from Hinata’s lips to his entire face...dwelling on his eyes for a long time. He was in class when a thought came at him like a train. 

Kissing Hinata. 

That is insane!

Despite hating it, the entirety of it. Kageyama couldn’t get himself to stop thinking about it. Is this normal? Is he just...frustrated that he’s never had a girlfriend? Is that all it is? The more he allowed himself to think about it, the more types of kissing he imagined. Kissing softly, gently. Kissing roughly, aggressively. 

Hinata would hate him if he could read his mind. 

To Kageyama’s surprise, these thoughts didn’t outwardly affect him and Hinata on the court or in their friendship. All it did was made Kageyama stare at Hinata more often...it also made Kageyama act nicer towards the ginger. 

Everyone had sort of taken notice of the shift in their dynamic, but they all took it as Kageyama and Hinata “calming down” (maturing). That’s probably true as well, they had matured in a lot of ways. You can see it in them taking their classes a little more seriously, and not getting into petty arguments with people on other teams as often as they use to. 

On their walk home, Kageyma felt like the bottle cap on this carbonated drink was about to blow off. He wanted to kiss Hinata. It was crowding his mind. 

“Hinata?” He wanted to bite his own tongue off. 

“Yeah?”

“This weekend, would you be okay with bringing my sweatshirt back to me? You can hang out at mine if you feel like it.” Nice save, idiot. 

“Oh, yeah. I can do that.” 

“Hinata?”

Hinata just turned to look at Kageyama again, his face shifting from curious to almost concerned. Kageyama looked pale and tense. 

“Kageyama…”

“I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your lips.” Kageyama spat out, clenching his eyes closed. 

“Kageyama…” Hinata repeated, moving closer to Kageyama. 

All this did though was spook Kageyama, who quickly took off running in a different direction. 

Kageyama felt like he was going to melt into the ground, breathing quick and heavy, trying not to just topple over and die. He couldn’t believe himself. 

“I don’t want to be your friend! I want to kiss your lips! You idiot!” He yelled at himself. Why did he say it like that? Who in their right mind would ever phrase something like that! He felt like the biggest dumbass on earth. Maybe he is the biggest dumbass on earth.

Kageyama felt his back fall onto a brick wall, looking around, he noticed he was at a park. Leaning on the bathroom building. Putting his face in his hand, Kageyama came to terms with a lot of things...he had to accept a lot of things.  
He needs to change his name. 

He needs to move out of Japan.

Hinata hates him. 

“Hinata hates me…” He whispered to himself. Right! How could he not hate me!

Groaning, he threw his head back, not remembering that he’s leaning on a brick wall. Smacking his head on it he yelled, “Ow! Goddamn it!” 

“Dumbass-Kageyama!” Hinata’s voice hurt worse than smacking his head on a brick wall ever could. His voice wasn’t what Kageyama thought it would be though, it was joyful and exciting. Parking his bike on the sidewalk and getting off it. 

Kageyama wanted to shrivel up, or disappear, or become so small Hinata wouldn’t see him anymore. He wanted to not be in this situation. But he was the one who put himself here. So maybe a part of him did want this? What is this though? What is there to want? 

“You don’t want to be my friend?” Hinata asked, his voice innocent, his eyes are concerned and curious. 

“No! No! I didn’t mean it like that...I’m a dumbass. Right?” 

“You want to kiss my lips?” Hinata’s pointer finger landed on his bottom lip. It’s a genuine question. Kageyama didn’t answer though, his eyes weren’t leaving Hinata’s lips though. “Do you mean it?”

“Mean it?”

“You actually want to kiss my lips?”

Kageyama felt his entire body heat up. Not wanting to actually answer the question. If saying no means that Hinata won’t hate him...that’s worth it. Isn’t it? 

Despite wanting to, for the sake of their friendship. All Kageyama could do was open his mouth, trying to force the simple word out of his mouth. Kageyama didn’t quite understand his feelings, other than that they were physically taking a toll on him. 

Kagayama’s insides burn, and his head’s pounding to the thump of his heart. Palms are soaked with nervous sweat (and from running away, probably) and his mouth felt like he’s never drank water before. What stood out to him most though, were the tears in his eyes. Forcing them not to fall, he looked away from Hinata, closing his mouth. 

“I would let you…” Hinata’s words were not meant to be heard, Kagayama looked up at him, one tear falling a little, but it wasn’t very easy to see. Hinata bit his lip in his nervousness before he shifted on his feet. “If you really do want to kiss my lips...I wouldn’t say no.”

“But would you say yes?” Kageyama quickly asked. Just because he’s not saying no doesn’t mean anything. “You don’t have to say yes. I won’t make you.” He was panicked now. Kageyama didn’t realize that he feared that more than Hinata actually saying no. The idea of making Hinata do this, making him uncomfortable...it made Kageyama’s skin crawl, in a bad way. 

“I wanna try it.” Hinata’s mouth almost curled into a smile. “I’ve never been kissed before.”

“Me neither.” Kageyama took a step forward. “Do you really want to kiss me?”

“You’re the one who put the idea in my head! And now I can’t stop thinking about it! I’m curious!” Hinata blushed, smiling.

Kageyama found himself smiling as well, not nearly as big or as well as Hinata...but he’s still smiling. 

“Okay...we can try.”

Hinata and Kageyama just stood there and stared at each other for far too long. It’s not that they were uncomfortable if anything they were very comfortable in the presents of each other...they just didn’t know whos place it was to make the first move. 

“You said you wanted to kiss my lips...that you want to kiss me, not me kiss you.” Hinata pointed out, walking casually towards Kageyama. 

Kagayama let out a puff of air, “Okay, dumbass...just...close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“It’s weird with you staring at me!” Kageyama was blushing so much his face felt like he had just got done with a match, one where he particularly worked hard. 

When Kageyama looked back at Hinata, he was standing straight up, hands balled into fists at his sides, and eyes so tightly shut it looked like it might hurt. Kageyama approached him, hovering his hands over where he wanted to touch Hinata, his side, and his shoulder. 

“Relax, dumbass.”

“I’m just...excited.”

Excited…

Kageyama should take his own advice, letting his tense shoulders loose a bit, and actually allowed himself to put his hands on Hinata. Worried Hinata would flinch away, he was ready to remove his hands...but Hinata seemed to lean into his hands. 

Kageyama couldn’t force himself to close his eyes. Looking at Hinata’s face, which was still radiating with excitement. Before their lips actually touched, Kageyama allowed himself to pause. Taking this in.

He is about to kiss Hinata. 

“Are you...ready?” Kageyama asked awkwardly. 

Hinata’s eyes fluttered open quickly, getting just a quick look at the predicament the two of them are in. And to Kageyama’s surprise, Hinata’s lips touched his. 

It wasn’t much of a kiss...in all reality, they just touched lips. In Hinata fashion, it was lightly quick and if you blinked, you completely missed it. 

But it wasn’t much about the kiss...now as it? The kiss was just the start of something. The start of something that was like a friendship, but a little bit more. 

Kageyama would miss having a friend...a friend like Hinata. But he would like to have a boyfriend like Hinata even more.

**Author's Note:**

> heyo! i really hope you enjoyed this...i will eventually get around to editing it, and i might also give it a second part some day cause i do have an idea for one...it just takes me a while before i get around to writing something lol
> 
> thank you for reading!! have a good night/day/etc :)


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